Monday, June 6, 2016

Breakfast Is Served

Today I woke up tired and sore from yesterdays work out so after my morning ritual of getting kids ready,  breakfast packing lunches and dropping them off I decided to take a quick power nap.  I will say I was surprised at yesterdays work out.  My cardio was still there but my muscles got sore tired very quickly.  I expected the exact opposite.  But back to breakfast.  In an attempt to eat cleaner and resist temptation I made myself a good healthy breakfast.  Sautéed zucchini and onions.  3 eggs scrambled with 3oz of ham and a sliced tomato with a little bit of sea salt sprinkled on it.  It was yummy and filling  thats a bunch of food and weighed in at 592 calories.   Now off to the gym for some dreaded cardio.  

Sunday, June 5, 2016

I Got My Mojo Back

I've been very quiet the since my last post.  Ive tried to sit down and post to describe the thoughts that were running through my head and why I was struggling.  Every time I sat down to write I just drew blanks.  The only way I can describe how I was feeling would be hopelessness.  the past week I have fought with myself to eat right and hit the gym.  Even though I knew doing those things was for my benefit mentally and physically I just couldn't get myself to do them 100%.  Self doubt and deprecation dominated my mind.  After days of those feelings yesterday I watched a crossfit video called "killing the fat man" on youtube.  And it was uncanny how much I had in common with that guy.  Same thoughts, same feelings and same actions.  Listening to him and watching him succeed and change his way of thinking reignited the fire with in me.  So after a great breakfast I am headed to the gym to go beat the crap out of myself and start taking steps in the right direction again.  And I will be posting again later today.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Is Failure Part of the Process?

I've been trying to figure out how or what to post for the last few days.  It's never easy admitting failure.  As much as I don't personally know anybody who reads this blog it's still hard to publicly admit mistakes you have made.   I have been so confident and positive during this process and I can honestly say I don't know what happened.  I didn't have any rational reason for breaking my routine.  I had one bad day which I tried to get past.  Next day started out well and then went to shit and for what ever reason I was not able to rebound and get back into my plan.  I have no excuse which is the worst and most embarrassing part.  Generally people would say work, life or some type of significant incident caused you to derail but I have none of that.   When I was a kid if a crashed my bike or was doing something and got hurt my dad would say "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again."  I will take that advice to heart as an adult and pick myself up, dust myself off and try again.  I am still down 10 pounds from my original start weight so that is a positive.  Round 2 starts now!

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Oh No!!!!!

I will start this post by saying that the purpose of this blog is to share my journey. All parts of my journey. good and bad.  That being said, I must share the fact that my train derailed the last couple of days. Monday started out well. I had a good weigh in and everything seemed great. As the day progressed I started to feel very tired. Almost felt like I was run down.  So I decided to take the day off from the gym and eat some extra calories thinking it was from my lack of calorie intake. My first 2 meals were solid and my last I had more of a cheat meal in order to give myself a big boost in calories.  But it didn't seem to help.  Monday night I really couldn't sleep; I just felt sluggish and foggy. Tuesday morning I woke up with a huge headache. And this is where things went bad for me very quickly. My first true test and I failed. I was home with my youngest daughter and feeling like crap so I reverted to the old me. Instead of muscling through and making something healthy I ordered a pizza, breadsticks and, the worst part, a 2 liter of Coke.  I knew I shouldn't have but at that point I didn't care. I rationalized it to myself that it was only because I wasn't feeling good. I rationalized that it was easier for me and also so my little one could eat. I lied to myself to get what 'fat me' wanted. I regretted it from the minute I ordered it. But that didn't stop me from eating it.  This morning I woke up with a clear head and lots of regret and anger towards myself. Especially when I stepped on the scale. It's amazing how fast it can come back.  This wasn't a true derailment but more of like hitting a dear at 70mph in your car. It's dangerous, jacks your ride up, and has the potential to keep you from driving again. However, it's nothing that can't be fixed. While I'm very disappointed in myself, it has taught me something very important. No matter how strong I feel on any given day, 'fat me' will always be in the wings waiting for his opportunity to take back control.  I lost yesterday's battle but the war is far from over.  So I will pick myself up off the floor, put yesterday in the past and make today a positive day.

Monday, May 23, 2016


Started out the day with a bang.  Monday morning weigh and in I knew I would be down weight but was a bit nervous because Sunday is my rest day.  So I step on the scale and, after the scales screams in agony, it pops up a number. 461. I was pumped. That's 17lbs in 2 weeks. I'm almost at 10% of my goal in 2 weeks.  I will be switching a few things up this week. I will now work out 2 days, then take a day off, then 3 days, and rest on Sunday.  I'm hoping that will help me not lag so much at the end of the week.  I will also begin weighing in with my doctor today on those scales that give you your BMI and body fat percentage, which I'm not looking forward to, but I will post the results later today.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Great motivation

So yesterday I'm doing my thing at the gym. Using that stupid machine where you pull the rope down and it never ends.  On a side note I think that is legalized torture, but back to my point.  Another, shall we say, plus sized gentlemen walks up to me and introduces himself to me. Then proceeds to tell me he's seen me in there a lot recently and he sees how hard I've been working, and that I look smaller already.  That statement on its own is fantastic to hear, but he continues to tell me that watching me has made him work harder because he doesn't want me to lose weight faster than him😂😂. I found that really funny as well as motivating.   We talked for a quick couple of minutes, as I don't like chatting during workouts. We were comparing eating plans, workout plans and weight loss to date (btw winning).  As he walked away I smiled to myself and came to the realization that I now have a weight loss nemesis. A friendly person to compete against. There are all sorts of ways to keep yourself motivated. Whether it's internal or external, doesn't matter. Use anything in your power to keep yourself going. Competing with friends and family members is a great one. If your internally motivated then write down how long you can last at a cardio exercise and try to improve them. It really doesn't matter if it's only a minute or 20 minutes. Don't let the scale be your only motivator. For the scale can be a fickle mistress and you don't want anything to derail your mind set.  What I have found recently is that weight loss really is mind over body.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Weeks end

Today is the final day of my workouts and I'm happy to say I am proud of myself.   I have stuck to my workout plans and me eating plan. Tomorrow will be my day off from the gym so I will use it to rest.  I plan on do as little as possible. Food wise I will stick to my eating plan. Here are my final numbers for the week

Calorie intake 1600
eliptical  6 min
Stationary bike 12 min
Kettle bell wok out 20 min