My biggest problem is allowing things out of my control to control my life. I've had. A great many issues and tragedies in my life and I allowed them yeti control me. I allowed them to make me turn to food for comfort. As my weight spiraled out of control It pushed me to a darker and darker place while limiting my options of escape. See that's the thing with getting fat. It creeps up on you. Then when you finally realize what's happening it's too late. No longer is it only 20-30lbs to lose its 100lbs or more. And now you feel like your at the bottom of a giant pit with walls to steep to climb. And that starts the vicious cycle of self hate. You try and fail which frustrates you so you turn to food. which is what got you into this mess to begin with. A few more pounds creep on and the cycle starts again. But heres the secret to escape. In that pit hidden by shadows there is a way out. You don't see it at first because your scared. Scared of failing, scared of what it will take to succeed. But its there a small rope and ll you have to do is climb the rope. Yes there will be obstacles thrown in your way. You will slip. You will fall. You may hurt yourself and life will surely try to kick you in the balls so you fall back down into that pit. But don't let go of that rope. Get back to your feet keep climbing. Its a lonely climb. You may have support from family and friends or you may not. But it really doesn't make a difference because this is something you have to do for yourself on your own. Nobody will walk the miles for you or lift the weights for you. Nobody can control your decisions that you make when it comes eating healthy. Its 100% YOU.
Today life tried to kick me in the balls again after trying to just 2 days ago. If any of you read the "about my blog" section you will know that being fat has cost me so much. One of the biggest is my ability to work. I was and kind of still am a contractor. But being overweight and not being able to physically do what I need to do makes it impossible to do my job. That being said in the spirit of changing myself body and mind I picked up a small job that I started Monday along with my blog. Well today as I am working I noticed a weird humming sound. I look up and see a tornado of bees flying all around me and of course I vacate the area and run into the nearest building. That alone in the past would have stopped me from completing my job. I would have packed up and used it as an excuse. But not today. Long story short I learned that as long as I don't mess with them they won't mess with me. So I put on my big boy pants and finished.
Losing weight is more than the calories you don't ear or the miles you walk and the pounds you lift. Its about changing your mind. Beleiving in yourself and following through in all aspects of your life especially when its difficult.
That mass of bees was 15ft from where I was working.
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